In the first reading Sirach insists that anger and resentment are hateful things. He also admonishes us to show mercy towards others, since we look to God to have mercy for ourselves. If we hold on to resentment and anger against others who have hurt us, how can we demand compassion from God? And if we show no pity for a fellow human being, how can we plead for pity for ourselves? We make it difficult for ourselves to receive God’s forgiveness if we do not want to forgive.
Don’t wait”
Too many people take too much unfinished relational business to their graves. A man on his deathbed told the following story. “I had a very good friend called Bob. But he and his wife moved to another country. A little while later, my wife, Charlotte, had to have a very severe operation. Bob and his wife never got in touch with us. I know they knew about it. I was very hurt because they never called to see her or ever enquire about how she was. So I dropped the relationship. Over the years I met Bob a few times and he always tried to reconcile, but I didn’t accept it. I wasn’t satisfied with his explanation. I was prideful. I shrugged him off. A few years later he died of cancer. I feel so sad. I never got to see him. I never got to forgive him. It pains me so much. My advice is: don’t wait.”
Flor McCarthy in “New Sunday & Holy Day Liturgies”
This Sunday’s parable of the ‘unforgiving servant’ is only found in the gospel of Matthew and is intended to be a moral exhortation for the Church on the need for forgiveness. To Peter’s question: “How often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? Seven times?” In the Bible, seven indicates completeness; and yet Jesus goes far beyond by replying: “Not seven but seventy times seven!” Implying that there is no limit to forgiveness because God’s love is a forgiving love. The position of the servant in Jesus’ story is absolutely hopeless. He owes the king so much money that even if he worked forever, he would not be able to repay him. This is the strong point of the story. All he can do is plead for forgiveness. Our situation before God is similar to that of the servant. We can’t win God’s forgiveness. All we can do is plead for it. But God is generous with his forgiveness. We then must be willing to extend to others the forgiveness God has extended to us. To refuse to forgive those who have sinned against us would be to exclude ourselves from receiving God’s forgiveness for our own sins. This has a real application in Church life. The thing that is most likely to turn people away from the Church is when they don’t find forgiveness there. Forgiveness is never easy, it is difficult but not impossible. Resentment and bitterness are dangerous things and we can’t be healed of them unless we forgive. To forgive is, first and foremost a duty we owe to ourselves. We forgive for the sake of our wellbeing. We forgive to cleanse ourselves and to receive God’s forgiveness and become instruments of His peace for others. Forgiveness is one of the highest and most beautiful forms of love. It is a holy task. Only God can help us to accomplish it fully.
“I give you the power to forgive”
Think, for example, the case of Timothy McVeigh, who admitted to the terrorist bombing in Oklahoma for which he showed no remorse. The evening before he was executed, various survivors and relatives of survivors were interviewed. I was struck with the sense that those who thought that his execution was going to bring them a sense of closure and peace were deceiving themselves. Far more reasonable was the ‘unreasonableness’ of a father whose daughter was killed in the disaster. He had already come to peace and closure. He had found the grace to let it go and believed that Timothy McVeigh should not suffer the death penalty. For this grieving father, even McVeigh’s life sentence was not to punish him, but to give him a chance, perhaps gradually, slowly to see the light and repent of his crime. He remarked that he and his family had no more energy for grievance and retribution. They had to go on living and wanted McVeigh to have the same chance.
John Pichappilly in “The Table of the Word”
Bridging the Gap
Even before the six-day war, Israel and Jordan had been mutual enemies. But in the summer of 1994 King Hussain of Jordan and the late President Rabin of Israel signed a peace accord. They said they did so that their children would not need to fight any more. To prepare the way for the signing of the peace treaty, Israel’s foreign minister, Simon Peres, crossed the Dead Sea by helicopter to end nearly half century of enmity. He was the first high-ranking official from Israel to openly visit Jordan. He said, ‘It took us a mere 15 minute to ride over. But it took us 46 years to arrive at this time and this place of peace and promise.’ On signing the treaty King Hossain said, “Out of all the days of my life, I don’t believe there is one such as this.” Peace is a process. So too is reconciliation. They both take time.
Flor McCarthy in ‘New Sunday Holy Days and Liturgies’
An Interrupted Life
The book ‘An Interrupted Life’ is a beautiful testament of a Dutch Jewess, Etty Hillesum, who died in the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1943. Despite the sufferings she underwent she wrote: “it’s too easy to turn your hatred on the outside, to live for nothing but the moment of revenge…. Despite all the suffering and injustice, I cannot hate others.” She forgave her tormentors because of her communion with a compassionate God.
Francis Gonsalves in “Sunday Seeds for daily Deeds”
Asking for forgiveness
Once in Poland an elderly rabbi boarded a train to travel home to Warsaw. He entered a compartment in which three salesmen were playing cards. In need of a foursome, the salesmen asked the rabbi to join in, but he politely refused, saying he had been too busy the whole day and needed to catch up on his prayers, and that in any case he didn’t play cards. They tried to persuade him, but he still refused. At this they got very hostile and started to abuse him. When he still refused, they threw him out of the compartment, so that he had to stand in the corridor for the rest of the journey. On arriving at Warsaw the rabbi got off the train. So did the salesmen. The rabbi was met by a large crowd of his followers. On seeing this one of the salesmen asked, “Who is that man?” “That’s Rabbi Solomon, the most revered rabbi in the whole of Poland,” came the answer. On hearing this the man regretted what he had done. He had no idea who he had offended. So he quickly went to the rabbi and asked for forgiveness. However, the rabbi refused to forgive him. The rabbi’s followers were taken aback at this. They could not figure out how their rabbi, a man renowned for gentleness and holiness, could refuse to forgive someone. So they asked him, “When someone who has offended us asks for forgiveness, should we forgive him?” “Yes,” the rabbi replied. “Well then, why didn’t you forgive that man?” “I can’t for him. The salesman didn’t offend me, the chief priest of Warsaw. He offended a common man. Let him go to him and ask for forgiveness.” In other words, he was asking for forgiveness only because he had offended a famous person. But had it been just an ordinary person that he had offended, it would never have occurred to him to ask for forgiveness. – Fortunately, in our communities there are many who are willing to forgive others. But alas, there are very few who are willing to ask and seek forgiveness from others.
Flor McCarthy in ‘New Sunday Holy days and Liturgies’
It is in forgiving that we ourselves are forgiven
Once, two prisoners shared the same cell. A dank, dark cell it was. One of them was a strong cruel individual. The other was gentle and timid. The prisoners were hand-cuffed to one another. The strong man was mean and cruel to the timid man. One day, while his companion was asleep the timid man found the key to the cell. He desperately wanted to get away from this horrible cell. But at the same time he did not wish to do any favours to his obnoxious companion. However, he soon realized he could not set himself free unless he also set his companion free. –It is like two people living in the same room, one of whom closes the blind because he doesn’t want the other to enjoy the sunlight. But in doing so he also deprives himself of the sunlight.
Flor McCarthy in ‘New Sunday Holy days and Liturgies’
God’s fore-giving love
Perugini, an Italian painter of the Middle Ages, stopped going for confession because he felt that people stayed sway from the sacrament hoping to confess just before they died as a kind of ticket to heaven. Perugini considered it sacrilegious to go to confession if, out of fear, he were seeking to save his skin. Not knowing his inner disposition, his wife inquired whether he was not afraid of dying unconfessed. Perugini replied, “Darling, my job is to paint and I have excelled as a painter. God’s profession is to forgive and if God is as good at his job as I’ve been at mine, I’ve no reason to be afraid!”
Francis Gonsalves in ‘Sunday Seeds for daily Deeds
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From Fr. Tony Kadavil:
1: “Adopt an orphaned Muslim child and raise him as a Muslim in your Hindu family”: In the motion picture of the life of Gandhi, there is a scene in which a Hindu father whose child has been killed by a Muslim comes to Gandhi in great grief and remorse. Out of a sense of retribution he has killed a Muslim child. He now kneels before Gandhi asking how he can get over his guilt and regret. Gandhi, who is gravely ill, tells the man that he must go and adopt a boy and raise him as his very own son. That request seems reasonable but then comes a requirement: In order to find inner peace, the Hindu man must raise the boy to be a Muslim. Overwhelmed at the inconceivable thought of raising a son as a Muslim, the man leaves Gandhi’s room in total disarray. Later, however, he returns and again kneels beside Gandhi’s bed. He now understands. He must take the hostility from his heart and replace it with love. That kind of forgiveness is more than passive resignation to a bad situation. By the grace of God we can use forgiveness as a positive, creative force bringing light into a darkened world. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
2: “I spoke to a brother whom I have pardoned.” Thirty-nine years ago (1981) there was an attempt on the life of Pope St. John Paul II. Fortunately, the Pope lived. After he recovered, he shocked the world when he made a visit to Rome’s Rabbibia Prison on Christmas Day to see the man who had attempted to assassinate him. Millions watched on television as the Pope, on Christmas Day, visited with Mehmet Ali Agca, who only two years before had tried to assassinate him. The white-robed Pope and jean-clad terrorist huddled in the dark prison cell for 20 minutes, talking in low voices that could not be heard. When he emerged John Paul explained, “I spoke to a brother whom I have pardoned.” We will never forget the headline the next week in Time Magazine, “Why forgive?” That is a good question, one that has been asked for centuries. Today’s readings give the reasons. Three months after the terrible attack of September 11, 2001, Pope St. John Paul II, in his message for the annual World Day for Peace, taught clearly that there can be no peace without justice, and there can be no justice without forgiveness. That’s a message that has gone largely unheard and unheeded on all sides of today’s conflicts. It’s kind of like what Chesterton said about Christianity itself – it hasn’t been tried and found wanting; it’s been found difficult and left untried. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
3: Unforgiven sins according to Dostoevsky and Shakespeare: Dostoevsky’s novel, Crime and Punishment deals with unforgiven sin. The novel is little more than the tale of a young, poor, Fascist student who murders a rich, old lady so he can get her money and continue his studies. But the student, hounded by guilt, pursued by his sins, finally confesses his crimes and is punished. Eloquently, so eloquently, Dostoevsky shows us what the real world is really like, a world where sin comes due like all debts and must be paid in full as the creditor comes calling us to account. The same is true of Shakespeare’s play Macbeth. A man is killed so Macbeth can usurp the crown, and Lady Macbeth, tormented by her part in the murderous sin, is driven to insanity. She pitifully raises her hands imagining them still to be stained with blood, and frets, “Will these hands ne’er be clean?” Can’t we identify with Dostoevsky’s and Shakespeare’s characters? We are sinners as they were. Some of us owe a lot. Some are sin-indebted a little. But each of us, like the debtors in the Gospel text, must settle accounts with the King, God Almighty Himself. Forgiveness Is Available.
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4. A woman testified to the transformation in her life that had resulted through her experience in conversion. She declared, “I’m so glad I got religion. I have an uncle I used to hate so much that I vowed I’d never go to his funeral. But now, why, I’d be happy to go to it any time.”
5. In a recent issue of Reader’s Digest, Janey Walser wrote these words: “I once worked in a grocery store and often assisted elderly people when they came in. One woman shopped nearly every day, asking for just a few items each time. After a month, she said to me, “I suppose you wonder why I’m here so often. You see, I live with my nephew. I can’t stand him, and I am not going to die and leave him with a refrigerator full of food.”
7. A catchy little epigram by Sarah Hewit:
Every day I pass the Church,
I stop and make a visit,
For fear that when I’m carried there
The Lord will say, “Who is it?
2) “Richard, I want you to know that I love you and I forgive you.” Before her death, Judy Lawson became the spiritual Mother of scores of hardened criminals. On her last Mother’s Day, according to Bill Myers, she received 40 Mother’s Day cards from former criminals whose lives she touched. Her prison ministry began eighteen months after her son was brutally murdered. She knew it was God’s will for her to forgive the murderer, and she had spoken the words, but she continued to harbor ill will toward the man who had robbed her of her son. She had agreed to never say “no” to God, so when she heard Him saying, “I want you to love the man who killed your son,” she had no choice but to fight the natural rage boiling up and to practice Christian love and forgiveness. While visiting a prison to support a friend at a parole hearing, she came face-to-face with the murderer. Controlling her inner struggle in faith, she spoke to the man. “Richard,” she said, “my name is Judy Lawson–you murdered my son and I want you to know that I love you and I forgive you.” The man began sobbing and the prison guards had to remove her from the facility. She sent the murderer letters. He sent them back. But she continued to write. Her family said, “Stop.” Her pastor said, “Stop.” But her God said, “Continue.” Soon, God’s grace broke through and the vicious killer and the victim reconciled and began a ministry together with Judy proclaiming grace and forgiveness to inmates. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/)
3) Are you ready to forgive your neighbor? Graham Staines, an Australian missionary, along with his family, was working among the socially outcast lepers in the state of Orissa, India. On January 23, 1999, he along with his two little sons – Philip and Timothy, were brutally burnt alive in their jeep by a group of Hindu fundamentalists led by one Dara Singh. The aftermath of this gory incident was nationally televised. What moved us to tears when we watched TV was the sight of Mrs. Staines asking Jesus to forgive her husband’s murders. She prayed that Jesus might touch the heart of these men (murders) so that they might not do to others what they had done to her husband and children. In the brutal murder of Mr. Staines and his children by Dara Singh and his gang, we see the triumph of barbarism, and in the forgiveness of Mrs. Staines, we see the triumph of Faith and goodness; we see in her forgiveness the triumph of the human spirit touched by Christ. (John Rose in John’s Sunday Homilies; quoted by Fr. Botelho).
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4) Loose cannon inside the ship in storm: French author Victor Hugo has a short story titled, “93.” In the midst of this tale, a ship at sea is caught in a terrific storm. Buffeted by the waves, the ship rocks to and fro, when suddenly the crew hears an awesome crashing sound below deck. They know what it is. A cannon they are carrying has broken loose and is smashing into the ship’s sides with every list of the ship. Two brave sailors, at the risk of their lives, manage to go below and fasten it again, for they know that the heavy cannon on the inside of their ship is more dangerous to them than the storm on the outside. So it is with people. Problems within are often much more destructive to us than the problems without. Today, God’s word would take us “below decks” to look inside ourselves concerning the whole matter of forgiveness.
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5) “Why don’t people forgive?” You may remember Herman Melville’s classic novel, Moby Dick. The most prominent character is the cruel, obsessive, vengeful Captain Ahab, skipper of the ship. He hates Moby Dick, the great white whale, with a terrible passion. Every waking hour is consumed with the question of how to destroy this leviathan that has crippled him. Soon we see that it is not Moby Dick that is the victim of Captain Ahab’s hatred but Ahab himself. In his obsession he kills everything around him – the whale, the crew and finally himself. How could anyone let rage get so out of control? Why do we find it so hard to forgive? Obviously the first answer is that the pain is too deep.
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6) “I left my anger and regret at the gates of that prison.” Pete Peterson was appointed U.S. ambassador to Vietnam in the late 1990s. Long before that, however, Peterson had served six years as a prisoner of war in the dreaded “Hanoi Hilton” prison camp. He endured unspeakable brutality, starvation, and torture at the hands of his captures. They robbed him of six years of his life he will never get back. Never. And when asked how he could return to this land as an ambassador, he replied, “I left my anger and regret at the gates of that prison when I walked out in 1972. I just left it behind me and decided to move forward with my life.” [Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Live in the Present, Find Your Future by Dr. Les Parrott, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2003).] “How many times may my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?” asked Peter. “As many as seven times?” Jesus answered him, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.” (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
7) “It’s a list of people I plan on biting before I die.” A man was bitten by a dog. Later it was discovered that the dog had rabies. This was back when there was no cure for rabies. His doctor brought him the bad news. “Everything possible will be done to make you comfortable,” he said, “but we can’t offer any false hope. My best advice to you is to put your affairs in order as soon as possible.” The man very calmly got out a piece of paper and began furiously writing. The doctor said: “What are you doing, making out your will?” He said: “Oh no, I’m writing out a list of people I’m going to bite.” Our subject today is forgiveness. How many times must I forgive someone who has hurt me, abused me, exploited me? That is Simon Peter’s question. How many times? Would seven times be enough? (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
8) “I have many more bridges to build”: Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a conflict. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s tool box. “I’m looking for a few days’ work” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?” “Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you.” “Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor; in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll do him one better.” “See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence –an 8-foot fence — so I won’t need to see his place or his face anymore.” The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.” The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother was coming toward them, his hand outstretched. “You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.” The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother. “I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but I have many more bridges to build.” (Fr. Eugene Lobo S. J.).
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9) General Patton learned to forgive: They said that World War II military hero George Patton couldn’t or wouldn’t control his temper as a young officer. Patton once ordered a mule shot. Why? It had gotten in the way of his jeep. He forced members of an antiaircraft unit to stand at attention for being sloppily dressed, despite the fact that they had just beaten off an attack, and some of the men were wounded. In one notorious incident, he slapped a hospitalized, shell‑shocked soldier, and denounced the man for being a coward. Patton’s commander, General Dwight D. Eisenhower, did not believe that Patton lacked self‑control, only that he was refusing to practice it. He ordered Patton to publicly apologize for slapping the soldier, put Patton on probation, and postponed his promotion to general. Notice this: after this reprimand by Eisenhower, there were no more reports that Patton committed acts of emotional or physical abuse during the two remaining years of World War II. In other words, Patton could control himself when motivated to do so. [Joseph Telushkin, The Ten Commandments of Character (New York, NY: Random House, Inc., 2003), pp. 37-38.]
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10) Forgiveness extended to the wife of the murderer of President Kennedy: A couple of days after President Kennedy was tragically gunned down in Dallas, Texas, a Presbyterian church from the state of Michigan wrote to the wife of Lee Harvey Oswald. They had heard that she wished to stay in America and learn the English language. They took it upon themselves to write to her and invite her to come to their community with the promise of finding her a home that she might get a fresh start on a productive life. Unfortunately, many persons both in the local community and from around the nation got wind of this plan and began writing many critical letters about their offer to this widow. One person probably described the situation most correctly when she said, “I never heard of a Church doing anything like this before.” She knew that forgiveness is not often found even in a group of believers who could probably best be called and known as “sinners anonymous.” Forgiveness is so hard. Forgiveness is very difficult unless we follow the example of Christ.
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11) “No, that man was my deadly enemy.” During the Revolutionary War, at the town of Ephrata there lived a very reputable and highly respectable citizen who had suffered an injury from a worthless and vile man in their town. This wicked man enlisted in the army, and there lived up to his evil record in civil life. Presently he was arrested for a serious offense, convicted by a court martial and sentenced to be hanged. The news of the sentence got back to Ephrata. Then that citizen whom this convicted man had wronged set out for the army, walking all the way to Philadelphia and beyond. When he found his way to President Washington’s headquarters, he pleaded for the life of this convicted man. Washington heard him through and then said he was sorry, but he could not grant the request. But seeing the disappointment in the man’s face when he turned to go, Washington said, “Are you a relative of this man?” The man said, “No.” “Then,” said Washington, “are you his friend?” “No, that man was my deadly enemy.” Nothing that we must forget and forgive and let go is even remotely close to what God has had to overlook and forgive in us. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
12) Hostility index and death rate: There was an interesting study conducted by the Gallup Organization and reported in 1994. In this study, Philadelphia ranked first among U.S. cities on what was called the “hostility index.” The hostility index was based on a nine-question scale that asked people how they felt about such things as loud rock music, supermarket checkout lines, and traffic jams. Other cities on the hostility top five were New York, Cleveland, Chicago, and Detroit. Perhaps you saw in the newspapers just a few months ago that New York City has a much higher death rate than average from coronary disease. At the bottom of the hostility index were Des Moines, Minneapolis, Denver, Seattle, and Honolulu. Medical experts looking at the results felt it was no coincidence that the cities that rated high on the hostility index also had higher death rates. Commenting on the study, Dr. Redford Williams of Duke University Medical School said, “Anger kills. There is a strong correlation between hostility and death rates. The angrier people are and the more cynical they are, the shorter their life span.” [Contemporary Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers and Writers. Craig Brian Larson, ed. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books, 1996), p. 17.] — Dr. Robert R. Kopp puts it this way: grudge-holders are grave-diggers and the only graves that they dig are their own. Or as John Huffman once said, “The world’s most miserable person is one who won’t forgive. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
13) “But how can I keep the sun from going down?” Richard W. DeHaan tells the story of a little boy who had a fight with his brother. As the day passed, he refused to speak to his brother. At bedtime, their mother said, “Don’t you think you should forgive your brother before you go to sleep? The Bible says we should not let the sun go down on our wrath.” After some perplexed reflection, the boy replied, “But how can I keep the sun from going down?” [Herb Miller, Actions Speak Louder than Verbs (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1989).] We can all appreciate what he is saying, but the truth is that nurtured resentment hurts most the one who nurtures it. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
14) “Perhaps, you would prefer, after all, to take the money?” There is a story about a judge in a middle‑eastern country who was trying to resolve a difficult case. The wife of a deceased man was asking for the death sentence to be imposed upon the man who had killed her husband. It seems that while he was in a tree gathering dates, the man had fallen upon the woman’s husband and fatally injured him.
“Was the fall intentional?” the judge inquired. “Were these men enemies?”
“No,” the woman replied. “Even so,” she said, “I want my revenge.”
Despite the judge’s repeated attempts to dissuade her, the widow demanded the blood price to which the law entitled her. The judge even suggested that a sum of money would serve her better than vengeance. No dice. “It is your right to seek compensation,” the judge finally declared, “and it is your right to ask for this man’s life. And it is my right,” he continued, “to decree how he shall die. And so,” the judge declared, “you shall take this man with you immediately. He shall be tied to the foot of a palm tree; and you shall climb to the top of the tree and throw yourself down upon him from a great height. In this way you will take his life as he took your husband’s.” Only silence met the judge’s decree. Then the judge spoke: “Perhaps,” he said, “you would prefer after all to take the money?” She did.
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15) “Fred Snodgrass, 86, Dead; Ballplayer Muffed Fly in 1912.” Fred Snodgrass was a successful baseball player for the Giants, but he was remembered for one of his failures. In the 1912 World Series, he dropped a pop fly. His error set up the winning run, for the next batter hit a single. Consequently, the Giants lost the game and the Series. When he died in 1974, the New York Times printed this headline: “Fred Snodgrass, 86, Dead; Ballplayer Muffed Fly in 1912.” Sixty-two years later, and yet they could not forget his mistake. Never mind the fact that Fred later became mayor of the city of Oxnard, California, was a successful banker and rancher and raised a fine family. He dropped a pop-up in the 1912 series, and they couldn’t forget his mistake. How different from Christ who not only forgives our mistakes but forgets them! Forgiveness is not easy; but it is always the will of God. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
16) “I went and sowed seed in my enemy’s field that God might exist.” The Norwegian writer Johan Bojer, in The Great Hunger, tells of a man whose little child was killed by a neighbor’s dog. Revenge would not long satisfy this man, so he found a better way to relieve the agony of his heart. When a famine had plagued the people and his neighbor’s fields lay bare and he had no corn to plant for next year’s harvest, the troubled father went out one night and sowed the neighbor’s field, explaining: “I went and sowed seed in my enemy’s field that God might exist.” (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
17) “You know that it is in my power to pardon you?” A captive was once brought before King James II of England. The King chided the prisoner: “You know that it is in my power to pardon you?” The scared, shaking prisoner replied, “Yes, I know it is in your power to pardon me, but it is not in your nature.” The prisoner had keen insight to know that unless we have had a spiritual rebirth we have no nature to forgive. The good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, is that it is both in the power and the nature of Jesus to forgive and to pardon. Yes, Jesus doesn’t forgive the sin as much as he forgives us.
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18) They had been praying for him all night. Ron Lee Davis, in his book, A Forgiving God in an Unforgiving World, tells about a moment when God’s remarkable spirit of forgiveness became real to him. His best friend Jim had been hit and killed while out riding a motorcycle. The driver of the car, Mr. Smith, simply hadn’t seen Jim in time and had plowed right into him. As Ron drove to visit Jim’s parents, he struggled with anger against Mr. Smith. He was amazed to discover, however, that Jim’s family felt only compassion for the man who had accidentally killed their son. In fact, the first question they asked when Ron walked through the door was, “Do you know how Mr. Smith is doing?” They had been praying for him all night. [Ron Lee Davis, A Forgiving God in and Unforgiving World, p.13. Used in “In His Own Words: Your Sins Are Forgiven” by C. Thomas Hilton, The Clergy Journal (October 1998), p. 30.] There are people like that in this world. They forgive those who have done them wrong. They are called Christians. (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
19) War of the Roses : In a real life parallel to the movie War of the Roses, a couple waged a battle of mayhem. It all began when the husband canceled one vacation trip too many for his wife. She expressed her disappointment by pouring bicarbonate of soda into the fish tank, wiping out his rare tropical fish. A long argument followed. Finally, he grabbed a selection of his wife’s diamond jewelry and threw it into the garbage disposal. She responded by flinging all his stereo equipment into the swimming pool. He then doused her $200,000 wardrobe – fur coats, designer gowns and all – with liquid bleach. Then things began to go downhill. She poured a gallon of paint all over his $70,000 Ferrari. So he kicked a hole in a $180,000 Picasso original she loved. She had just opened the sea cocks of his 38 foot yacht, causing it to sink at its dock, when the couple’s daughter came home and saw what had been going on. She called the police. They were powerless to do anything. It was not illegal for the couple to destroy their own property. Eventually the family lawyer managed to arrange a truce. [William A. Marsano, Man Suffocated by Potatoes, (New York: New American Library, 1987).] Unhappy marriages probably produce the largest number of houses of spite. Divorce doesn’t help. A recent survey showed that many divorced couples still feel rejected a decade after the breakup. Though they marry again, they stay angry and bitter. Forty-one percent of the remarried woman were still furious at their first husbands a decade later. Thirty-one percent of the men felt the same. How do we let it go? How do we keep our resentment and anger from destroying us? Simon Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother? Seven times?” That is certainly a relevant question.
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20) “The Woman Who Beat the Ku Klux Klan.” Beulah Mae McDonald is a black woman who has earned a reputation as “The Woman Who Beat the Ku Klux Klan.” On March 21, 1981, Mrs. McDonald had a dream in which she saw a steel-gray casket sitting in her living room. Every time she tried to move closer to the casket, someone told her, “You don’t need to see this.” But Mrs. McDonald knew that she did have to see it. And when she awoke from her dream, the first thing she did was to look in the other bedroom where her youngest son Michael was supposed to be sleeping. He was not there. When the boy didn’t come home the next morning, Mrs. McDonald knew that something was wrong. The phone rang. The caller said, “They had a party here, and they killed your son. You better send somebody over.” A few blocks away, in a racially mixed neighborhood, about a mile from the Mobile, Alabama, police station, they found Michael McDonald’s body hanging from a tree. Around his neck was a perfectly tied noose with 13 loops. On a front porch across the street, watching police gather evidence were members of the United Klans of America, one of the largest and most violent of the Ku Klux Klans. Looking across the street, Bennie Jack Hays, the 64-year-old Titan of the United Klans, said, “A pretty sight. That’s gonna look good on the news. Gonna look good for the Klan.” The men who killed Beulah Mae McDonald’s son thought they would go free. But they were wrong. Not only did the young black man’s killer receive the death penalty, but Mrs. McDonald won a seven-million dollar lawsuit which broke the back of this hate group which is driven by the power of Satan. Mrs. McDonald was a single mother who had to raise her children alone and in poverty. She says this about raising her children: “I wasn’t able to get everything for them, but I let them know the value of things.” Her method of childrearing was that of love and religion. On Sunday morning, Mrs. McDonald would take her family to Church in the morning and remain there all day. “I’m a strong believer,” she explains. “I don’t know about man, but I know what God can do.” It was the power of God that enabled Beulah Mae to do that which would have been impossible for an unbeliever. Her faith in God enabled her to forgive even those who had murdered her son. At the civil trial, one of the Klansmen implicated in the crime named Tiger Knowles turned to Mrs. McDonald. They locked eyes for the first time. Knowles spoke of the seven million dollars which he and the others were going to have to pay as the consequence of their crime. “I can’t bring your son back,” he said sobbing and shaking. “God knows if I could trade places with him, I would. I can’t. Whatever it takes — I have nothing. But I will have to do it. And if it takes me the rest of my life to pay for it, any comfort it may bring, I hope it will.” By this time, the jurors were crying. The judge had tears in his eyes. Then Beulah Mae McDonald said these words: “I do forgive you. From the day I found out who you all was, I asked God to take care of y’all, and He has.” Who among us could show that kind of forgiveness? The answer is that none of us could ever do it without faith in God. [“The Woman Who Beat the Klan,” New York Times Magazine (November 1, 1987), pp. 26-39.] (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
21) Power to forgive: Corrie ten Boom lived in Amsterdam in the Netherlands during World War II. Her family owned a watchmaker’s shop. When the Nazis occupied the Netherlands, her family began to help Jews, who were systematically being rounded up and sent to death camps. Eventually someone turned the family in, and they were sent off to concentration camps. Corrie and her sister, Betsy, were sent to the infamous Ravensbruck camp. Only Corrie survived the family ordeal. After the war she travelled about Europe, lecturing on forgiveness and reconciliation. After one talk in Munich, Germany, a man came forward to thank her for the talk. Corrie couldn’t believe her eyes. He was one of the Nazi guards who used to stand duty in the women’s shower room at Ravensbruck. The man reached out to shake Corrie’s hand. Corrie froze, unable to take his hand. The horror of the camp and the death of her sister leaped back into her memory. She was filled with resentment and revulsion. Corrie couldn’t believe her response. She had just given a moving talk on forgiveness, and now she herself couldn’t forgive someone. She was emotionally blocked, unable to shake the guard’s hand. As Corrie stood there, frozen, she began to pray silently: At that moment, she said, her hand, as if empowered by another source, took the guard’s hand in true forgiveness. At that moment, she discovered a great truth. It is not on our own forgiveness that healing in our world hinges, but on His. When Jesus commands us to love our enemies, he gives along with the command the grace we will need to forgive them. (Mark Link in Sunday Homilies). (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
22) “I use your toothbrush!” A certain married couple had many sharp disagreements. Yet somehow the wife always stayed calm and collected. One day her husband commented on his wife’s restraint. “When I get mad at you,” he said, “you never fight back. How do you control your anger?”
The wife said: “I work it off by cleaning the toilet.”
The husband asked: “How does that help?”
She said: “I use your toothbrush!”
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23) When did your last forgive? You may remember the story of the grandmother celebrating her golden wedding anniversary who told the secret of her long and happy marriage. “On my wedding day, I decided to make a list often of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of the marriage, I would overlook.” A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother replied, “To tell you the truth, I never did get around to making that list. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, “Lucky for him that’s one of the ten. Application: When was the last time it was very difficult to forgive? If we did forgive, how did it feel? (Gerard Fuller in Stories for all Seasons; quoted by Fr. Botelho). (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
24) God’s forgiving love: Perugini, an Italian painter of the Middle Ages, stopped going for confession because he felt that people stayed away from the Sacrament hoping to confess just before they died as a kind of ticket to Heaven. Perugini considered it sacrilegious to go to confession if, out of fear, he were seeking to save his skin. Not knowing his inner disposition, his wife inquired whether he was not afraid of dying unconfessed. Perugini replied, “Darling, my job is to paint and I’ve excelled as a painter. God’s profession is to forgive and if God is good at his job as I’ve been at mine, I’ve no reason to be afraid!”-The book, “An Interrupted Life,” is the beautiful testament of a Dutch Jewess, Etty Hillesum (27), who died in the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1943. Despite the sufferings she underwent she wrote: “It’s too easy to turn your hatred loose on the outside, to live for nothing but the moment of revenge… Despite all the suffering and injustice, I cannot hate others.” She forgave her tormentors because of her communion with a compassionate God. (Francis Gonsalves in Sunday Seeds for Gospel Deeds; quoted by Fr. Botelho).
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25) Forgiveness given by the Lebanese hostages: When their ordeal as hostages in Lebanon had come to an end, most of the more than a dozen men, who were held for all or part of eight years (AD 1984-1991), committed their experiences to writing. Their books contain accounts of desperate loneliness, brutal torture, incessant interrogations and emotions which ran the gamut from rage to fear, from resentment to hope, from hatred to forgiveness. One of the hostages, Brian Keenan, recounted “Each of us had to reach inside himself to find that which was necessary to survive.” For Catholic priest, Reverend Lawrence Martin Jenco, captured in 1985, survival included forgiving those who made pain and abuse an integral part of each of his nights and days. In the published report of his experiences (Bound to Forgive, Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame: 1995), Rev. Jenco traced what he called his pilgrimage to reconciliation and forgiveness. “One day in Rome”, wrote Rev. Jenco, “within days of my release from captivity, a paparazzi shouted at me from a distance, ‘Father Jenco, what are your feelings toward the terrorists who held you?’ I responded without much thought: ‘I’m a Christian. I must forgive them’.” Then he realized the lengthy process which had enabled him to offer this almost glib, automatic response. Forgiveness had not come easy. How does a person forgive being forcibly abducted, thrown into a car trunk and robbed of five hundred and sixty-four days of life? How does a person forgive being gagged with a dirty rag, wrapped from head to foot with packing tape? How does a person forgive being stripped of clothing and chained to a radiator? How can being kept for six months in dark isolation and deprived of food and water for days at a time be forgiven? How can a person forgive another who deliberately breaks his glasses, leaving him unable to see? How can being kicked and beaten until senseless be forgiven? How can a person forgive another who sprayed toxic chemicals in his mouth to prevent his snoring? How? But, Rev. Jenco was able to forgive his captors and abusers because he kept, uppermost in his mind and in the depths of his heart the teachings of Jesus. He wrote, in what he called his hostage journal, all the scripture texts he could remember concerning forgiveness. Among these texts were a section of today’s first reading: “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven” (Sirach 28:2), and from today’s Gospel: “Each of you must forgive his brother from his heart” (Matthew 18:35). As Rev. Jenco noted, “Writing these passages was the easy part, making them incarnate was no easy task.” The fact that he had accomplished this difficult task was evident in the conversation Rev. Jenco had with one of his guards named Sayeed. It was near the end of his captivity, although Rev. Jenco had no way of knowing that he would soon be released. Sayeed, who had brutalized him many times, had begun to call Rev. Jenco “Abouna”, an Arabic name meaning “dear father.” Sayeed asked if Abouna remembered the first six months of his captivity. Rev. Jenco responded that he did remember all the pain and suffering he and his brother hostages had endured at the hands of Sayeed and the other guards. Then Sayeed asked in a quiet voice, “Abouna, do you forgive me?” Overwhelmed by this question, the still blindfolded Rev. Jenco recognized Sayeed’s question to be a call from God. Could he let go of his anger and vindictiveness? He realized that he was being challenged to forgive unconditionally, not just one wrong but hundreds of instances of persecution and abuse. He realized that he could not forgive Sayeed on the condition that he change his behavior or conform to other values. When he, at last found words to respond to Sayeed, Rev. Jenco said, “Sayeed, there were times when I hated you. I was filled with anger and revenge for what you did to me and my brothers. But Jesus said on a mountain top that I was not to hate you. I was to love you. Sayeed, I need to ask God’s forgiveness and yours.” After forgiving Sayeed, Rev. Jenco felt free and empowered by God’s word. Those same words empower us today. When we make our own the message of this Sunday’s readings, then the challenges to forgive, which are part of our everyday lives can be met. (Patricia Datchuck Sánchez).
26) Two Million Dollar Mistake: John D. Rockefeller built the great Standard Oil empire. Not surprisingly, Rockefeller was a man who demanded high performance from his executives. One day, one of those executives made a two-million-dollar mistake. Word of the man’s enormous error quickly spread throughout the executive offices, and the other men began to make themselves scarce, not wanting to cross his path. One man didn’t have any choice, however, since he had an appointment with the boss. So, he straightened his shoulders and walked into Rockefeller’s office. As he approached Rockefeller’s desk, he looked up from the piece of paper on which he was writing. “I guess you’ve heard about the two- million-dollar mistake our friend made,” he said abruptly. “Yes,” the executive said, expecting Rockefeller to explode. “Well, I’ve been sitting here listing all of our friend’s good qualities, and I’ve discovered that in the past he has made us many more times the amount he lost for us today by his one mistake. His good points far outweigh this one human error. So, I think we ought to forgive him, don’t you?” (Dale Galloway, You Can Win with Love, in The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, Charles Swindoll, Word Pub., p. 215).
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27) “I give you the power to forgive.” Think, for example, the case of Timothy McVeigh, who admitted to the terrorist bombing in Oklahoma for which he showed no remorse. The evening before he was executed, various survivors and relatives of survivors were interviewed. I was struck with the sense that those who thought that his execution was going to bring them a sense of closure and peace were deceiving themselves. Far more reasonable was the ‘unreasonableness’ of a father whose daughter was killed in the disaster. He had already come to peace and closure. He had found the grace to let it go and believed that Timothy McVeigh should not suffer the death penalty. For this grieving father, even McVeigh’s life sentence was not to punish him, but to give him a chance, perhaps gradually, slowly to see the light and repent of his crime. He remarked that he and his family had no more energy for grievance and retribution. They had to go on living and wanted McVeigh to have the same chance. (John Pichappilly in The Table of the Word; quoted by Fr. Botelho).
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28) Bridging the Gap: Even before the six-day war, Israel and Jordan had been mutual enemies. But in the summer of 1994 King Hussein of Jordan and the late Prime Minister Ytzhak Rabin of Israel (assassinated November 4, 1995), signed a peace accord. They said they did so that their children would not need to fight any more. To prepare the way for the signing of the peace treaty, Israel’s foreign minister, Simon Peres, crossed the Dead Sea by helicopter to end nearly half century of enmity. He was the first high-ranking official from Israel to openly visit Jordan. He said, ‘It took us a mere 15-minute to ride over. But it took us 46 years to arrive at this time and this place of peace and promise.’ On signing the treaty King Hossain said, “Out of all the days of my life, I don’t believe there is one such as this.”– Peace is a process. So too is reconciliation. They both take time. (Flor McCarthy in ‘New Sunday Holy Days and Liturgies’ quoted by Fr. Botelho).
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29) Forging community of the forgiven: Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu has been a driving force in promoting peaceful relations among the various political factions in his native South Africa. Aware that forgiveness and mutual respect for the differences of others are necessary to any peaceable union, he once said, “We witness… by being a community of reconciliation, a forgiving community of the forgiven.” Moreover, Archbishop Tutu declared that the community of believers, who are both salt and light for the world, have no other choice but to serve its needs. Said he, “We must transfigure a situation of hate and suspicion, of brokenness and separation, of fear and bitterness. We have no option; we are servant to the God who reigns and cares.” In chapter fourteen of his letter to the Roman church, Paul acknowledged that there were factions and differences within the community which threatened its unity. Like Archbishop Tutu, Paul reminded his readers that their belonging to God, in both life and death, meant that they should conduct themselves as responsible servants. As such, they were to treat one another with the same quality of love and understanding as they themselves experienced in their relationship with God. (Sanchez Files). (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
30 Those who forgive best are those who are forgiven. The following personal reflection of Mario Estrella, my former student and member of the religious congregation Opifices Christi is insightful. When I was working as one of the training officers of the different training programs of the Department of Education, I had made a decision that was detrimental to the mandate of the Department to provide continuous service to teachers and principals. My immediate superior called it to my attention when he discovered my irresponsibility and incompetence. I thought I would be reprimanded and incriminated for negligence and my conduct, which was unbecoming to a government employee. The superior asked me if I was guilty of the offense and I replied affirmatively. He surprised me when he asked, “If I keep you in your present capacity, can I trust you in the future? “I replied, “I am sorry, sir. I have learned my lesson and you surely can trust me again.“ He must have detected the sincerity of my repentance. “I am not going to press charges anymore, and you can continue in your present responsibility,” he said. He told me then that he had once succumbed to the same situation, but he was given mercy and was asked to learn from it. His position now in the Department can attest how far he has gone because of the opportunity accorded to him. Truly, according to Steve Goodlier, those who forgive best are those who are forgiven.– The story is centered on the fruit of forgiveness. Forgiveness multiplies when freely given to the offender. Whether we like it or not, something good may come out from the experience and could probably change the person for the better. (Lectio Divina). (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
31) Wasn’t bullying wrong? The following is a personal testimony of forgiving a neighbor’s injustice (cf. Joshua Sundquist in Daily Guideposts 2015, p. 373). I entered high school after eight years of home-schooling. I knew very few people and had just lost a leg to cancer, so I was worried about how the other students would treat me. As if to confirm my worst fears, an upperclassman deliberately tripped me as I walked down the hall on my artificial leg and then made fun of me. When I told my mom what had happened, she cried. Years have passed, and a few weeks ago I got an unexpected message online. It was from the upperclassman. He tracked me down to say how guilty he has felt about that day and wanted to know if I would forgive him. I wasn’t sure. Would forgiving him be tantamount to condoning his actions? Wasn’t bullying wrong? I talked it over with a few friends, and the advice was split. But then I remembered that God forgives and loves me despite much greater shortcomings than those displayed by that bully. So it was not my place to withhold forgiveness. It was not my job to evaluate the merits of his apology or decide whether he deserved forgiveness. I wrote him back and told him that it was no big deal. Because really, it wasn’t. And I’m certainly not going to let a bully trip me up in my relationship with God. (Lectio Divina). (http://frtonyshomilies.com/) L/20
***From the Sermons.com
Forgiven: Too Poor to Pay
(A good sermon closer)
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